Recipe for Breakdown: How You Let Yourself Off The Hook

Your recipe for breakdown distinguishes the key ingredients and the manner in which they are combined to derail your personal integrity. Becoming aware your recipe gives you the power to choose something else.

Allison and I currently live about 10 minutes east of downtown Atlanta across the street from a set of railroad track. Initially the sound of the train occurred as booming, earth-shaking and otherwise intrusive. But after awhile it became barely noticeable. A similar experience can occur when we ignore or dismiss our personal recipe for breakdown.

You’re on the tracks. There’s a train coming toward you. You hear the whistle blow, smell the smoke, feel the vibration. You see it getting closer. What do you do?

The answer’s obvious isn’t it? But what if you never knew it was coming, you didn’t know the signs. Disaster would be inevitable.

Over the past seven years over 1200 people have participated 40 Days of FOCUS. Each person took on one specific personal discipline of their choice for 40 consecutive days. I speak with most of the participants personally. Many had at least one day in which they did not complete the discipline they committed to. Let’s call this a “breakdown.”

Raise Your Awareness

You have your own personal recipe for breakdown; for letting yourself off the hook. The better you understand it, the more aware you can be when it approaches. Awareness brings choice. Instead of getting blindsided you can get out of the way.

Integrity means you say “X” and “X” happens. Breakdown means you say “X” and something else happens.

Think of a specific time you let yourself off the hook. When you said you “X” of your own free will, and X didn’t happen. It might have been an exercise program, an attempt to quit smoking or cut back on television. And it didn’t happen. How was this possible?

Case Study

Lisa made a commitment to do a 21 day cleanse. On day 17 she quit. Her 1-2-3 went something like this:

1. My boss yelled at me.
2. I felt angry, hungry and tired.
3. I said “I don’t deserve this- I deserve better!” and I ate a doughnut.

Notice how the voice in this case seems quite noble, but the end result is breakdown. This is one of the reasons it is so important to know your recipe. A noble sounding train will knock you off your commitment if you don’t see it coming.

Distinguishing Your Recipe For Breakdown

1. Recall the exact circumstances leading up to the moment you chose not to honor your word. As if you were watching a movie, recall the scenery, events, situation and people. Pay close attention to the details leading up to the “breakdown.” Resist the urge to judge yourself, simply observe.
2. Freeze the frame on the exact moment you chose not to do what you said you would do. What happened? What did you experience you mentally? Emotionally? What was the feeling in your body?
3. What is that little voice inside your head saying?*
4. Break it down into a 1-2-3 step process using the data above.

*note: In my experience coaching people there is typically a specific voice with specific words that makes it OK to not do what you said you would do.

Once you have you “1-2-3″ check it with other times in your life when you have let yourself off the hook. What similarities do you see?

Distinguishing your recipe for breakdown gives you the power to recognize when that train is a-comin. You can let it derail you or get out of your own way and honor your word. The choice is yours. Choose powerfully.